For the Love of Writing

There's a book titled "Do What You Love, and the Money Will Follow."  

Well, I just got an email telling me that money has been deposited into my Paypal account for books I have written and have been out there for the reading public.   All I have to do is log in into my Paypal account and transfer the whole $1.85 to my bank account. 

I can then go celebrate, maybe with a cup of tea (small size) at Borders, which I plan to do this week. 

$1.85 for stories that received great reviews and feedback. A writer doesn't get four start reviews for stories that aren't good.  Night Fantasies, Stormbound, No More Secrets, No More Lies, To Love A Soldier, and my Todd Hollow series Deadly Games, Deadly Affairs, etc. all earned great reviews.

So now I sit here and wonder.  Many authors are doing well as Indie Authors.  Then how come not more sales?  I'm on a host of various promo loops. I moderate and host two Yahoo groups myself where others promote themselves, and yet my sales are so poor I no longer have words to express what I'm now feeling.  Well I can try.  Disheartened.  Frustrated.  Sad.  A little angry perhaps. Discouraged.  Yet at the end of the day still hopeful.  All of this comes with the territory.  Some people become overnight successes.  Some take more time to get to that point they consider themselves successful.  And others go at a snail like pace, eventually getting to their destination.  I'm probably in the last category, which is okay except I guess considering where I am age wise, my patience is starting to wear thin and I'm feeling it's now or never.    

I probably shouldn't put this stuff on my blog, yet frustration sometimes pushes us to a point where we need to let it out of our system to avoid keeping it in and suffering whatever consequences arises from "keeping such things bottled up."

Most writers I know go through all this self doubt, as well as the frustration, and we wonder if we should simply give up.  Should I now go and fill out those employment forms at Walgreens, Wal-Mart, or Price Chopper?  Then I would be ensured a steady paycheck every week. 

Yet do I throw in the towel?   Somehow I've never been able to do that mainly because I know once readers read these stories, they will enjoy them.    And I in turn enjoy writing them, creating fictional worlds that provide a means of escape from a world going crazier by the moment.  Plus it's what every writer needs to do, which is to keep believing in themselves and their work and not throw in the towel at any point if they don't need to.


Someone like Casey Anthony will have someone help her write "her" book, and her words will be read by millions.  (Sounds like sour grapes, doesn't it?)

But trust me, although many say they won't buy the book, go see the movie, I'm sorry to say curiosity does more than kill any poor feline because yes there will be the enormous advances, and readers will be rushing into bookstores (if any are left) to buy the  tell all book , or simply download the thing from places like Amazon, B&N, or  whatever outlets will carry the story.  

I'm just hoping in this tell all book she will let the world know exactly what happened to a three year old girl and that whatever happened would result in her death because nothing at the trial made much sense other than the fact that the mother in some way caused the death of her beautiful young daughter.  And with the monies she makes hopefully she will  use them toward good rather than for selfish means.

Meantime, I will continue to write my books, and do what many writers do, which is to do a bit of struggling with our own lives, eek out a living for ourselves, and then be thankful for whatever comes our way.

Actually I always maintain an optimistic approach to life.  I appreciate the fact that I am able to sit here and write.  Also, that I enjoy my time with family and friends, as well as my Peekapoo who by the way she looks at me with those big oversized brown eyes tells me every day that I am special, and as far as she's concerned  I am a successful writer. 

Still, what can one really do with $1.85?   Simply throw it into my piggy bank and watch it grow.